Friday, July 29, 2011

7 In One Blow...

I was sitting here in front of my computer thinking about a young, brash Mickey Mouse. In the 1939 short "Brave Little Tailor," he is sent to combat a giant that has been terrorizing village after village. Promised the hand of the lovely Princess Minnie if he accomplishes this task, he heads off in search of the villain. Armed with only needle, thread and a pair of shearing scissors, young Mickey does battle with the giant, eventually victorious in what becomes a battle of wits, and the town is saved.

Why am I talking about this?

Because I feel like I've been killing 7 in one blow... I have had a severe mouse problem for the majority of the summer. Once the residents moved out and it was just me in the building, all the mice from every corner of this residence hall tried to invade me. At one point I was catching 2 to 3 mice a day. My total stands at 23, and that doesn't count the dead babies I've scooped up in the hallway outside my apartment or the one I found rotting under my sink. 23 mice. The frustration is unimaginable. My apartment is a little cluttered but it's not dirty. I don't keep food just any old where. And I was a brave little tailor. I had no access to poison. I just had to keep setting out traps...and more traps...and more traps. And using my wits to discover their path. But in the end, my wits were enough. I am victorious, or so it seems.

But wait, hey Raymond, why must you talk about this in your professional blog? Don't you have a personal blog in which to discuss this? Actually, yes I do, but I find this to be a professional matter for this reason. Recently I've discovered an initiative, not yet solidified or officially announced, to actually tax the Directors based on the assessed values of their apartments.

Yes, let that digest.

This apartment, that they force me to live in, which represents the largest reason why I'm already underpaid, is going to be taxed. If this passes then I will have to pay to live here, in a place in which I HAVE to live in order to do the job they've hired me to do.

The apartment, where I have already killed 23 mice in just over a month. The apartment that has the problems with gnats and drain flies every single summer. The apartment that I share with the ants no matter how many cracks I find and seal. The apartment that is directly connected to the hallway above me, that sees trash and debris fall down every other day. The apartment where the A/C does little to cool, filled with castoff furniture that they said was temporary.

Someone wants to tax that. I find this to be unacceptable for many reasons. The first is that...I probably wouldn't live here if I didn't have to. Gentrification has raised the value of the property around here, but at least the new buildings are nice. My apartment...not as much. I wouldn't pay what it would cost to live in an apartment this size in this area based on what I'm getting.

I cannot be taxed to live in a piece of crap apartment. One where when I ask for an exterminator, it takes them two weeks to get around to sending one over. An exterminator who just puts down more of the glue traps I already had, and then leaves. This is an apartment where I had to buy my own air conditioner because the central air here is always weak...when it works.

This school is slowly losing its mind.

Legal Note: Opinions in this post are my own and not representative of the university I work for or the people I work under. All suppositions, presumptions, theories, hypotheses, etc. are my own. This blog is for entertainment purposes only, blah blah blah. There are purposely no names included in this post, and I have revealed nothing that violates either general expectations of privacy or the University confidentiality agreement, which, actually... I never signed anyway. All of that is to say...don't be trying to sue me.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Draft Day





I decided to write this because for the past 3 weeks I have been inundated with phone calls, emails, knocks on my door and many “chance encounters” from people who want to know if they will be a Resident Assistant in the fall. I’m tired of answering the same questions over and over, or saying “no comment.” Most people reading this have no idea how hard it is to wade through the mountain of applications for the best handful of applicants, and harder still to put together and maintain a great team. It’s because I have to play Coach, General Manager and President all in one. And with that being said…

Every year, hundreds of students apply to fill one of the (approximately) 50 positions that open up on the Residence Life staff. And every year I spend one week presiding over 100 interviews in order to pick the one or two people that I need, and the less than 10 recommendations that I will make to my colleagues. In this process, there are some things to note:

1. It starts before you apply:

The RA interviews are in late March, but I won’t even think about selecting anyone until at least May, and with good reason: what I look for in an RA has less to do with what future applicants might possess and more to do with what I’m losing. You don’t need to recruit a Sam Bradford if you’re starting a healthy Peyton Manning. Who’s graduating? What did (or didn’t) they contribute? Who doesn’t want to come back? Who don’t I WANT to come back? And who should fill those shoes?

2. Free agency matters more:

Now, before I even think about selecting candidates from the interviews I look at those who have already proven themselves in other halls and are thinking about a change of pace. Every spring there are a few RAs who talk to me about coming to my hall from wherever they are currently. And well, almost anyone would take a 2009 Matt Cassel over a fresh out of college and untested Matthew Stafford.

The only problem is that you don’t want to offend another Director by going after one of their people behind their backs, and the RA can only make the transfer if their Director affirmatively recommends them. I had a situation last year where I wanted someone that I couldn’t have literally because his Director would only say “it doesn’t matter” instead of “yes, it’s okay.” It was the most professional way to let someone’s chances die without taking any action against them.

In this way, Community Directors are like coaches and owners. We have trades, swap draft picks, squabble amongst ourselves over who gets who, and make deals that no one will ever know of outside of the conference room. It gets real in the field.

3. Every team needs something different:

Once I decide what my unmet needs are, THAT’s when I go back over the notes I made during interviews and begin to target people. Every year I pick a different type of RA depending on what my goals are, what people say they’re bringing to the table, and which RAs I’m keeping from the previous year. There are a lot of great candidates who aren’t team players, and a lot of hard-workers whose personality will entirely change the flavor of the soup. How many teams did Terrell Owens play for?

Speaking of personalities, I have turned down a few candidates because I knew we wouldn’t get along. I am a hard worker. I get everything done. I am also extremely laidback and relaxed, not a micromanager at all. Everyone doesn’t want to work with me, and many people wouldn’t know how to handle all the freedom I’d give them. I also have to factor in the fact that I know other Directors are looking at some of the same candidates. We each get 10 minutes on the clock. If you get there before me then my scouting report better be on point, which is why…

4. It’s not about YOU. It’s about my TEAM.

The most singular outstanding candidates don’t always get picked first. In some rare instances they get picked late, or not at all. Arian Foster is an outstanding running back who wasn’t drafted in 2009. In 2010, Sam Bradford went first overall, and Colt McCoy wasn’t taken until 84 selections later. WHY? Because record setting, Heisman-runner-up, 112 passing touchdown, 20 rushing touchdown, Mr.-I-Won-More-Games-As-A-Quarterback-Than-Anyone-Else-In-Dvision-1-HISTORY Colt McCoy didn’t seem to be a good fit for the NFL. His style of productivity didn’t fit a lot of offensive schemes. And that’s all it takes. I have turned down some potential superstar candidates because their skills would have been redundant, or I had a feeling that they wouldn’t work well with the rest of my RAs. The dominance of a Big Three is usually reserved for online play, folks. Especially on a staff as small as mine.

5. Off the field activities matter too:

My preliminary commitment to you is just that…a preliminary commitment. There’s a time gap between my first round of selections and candidates receiving their notices. You get investigated. If any other Community Director knows who you are, they are invited to speak for (or against) you. We look at your grades. I have made some outstanding selections that I couldn’t pick up because they had less than a 2.5 GPA on the day of verification. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter if your professor is about to clear up an incomplete, or if your criminal record is ABOUT to be expunged. If it’s not already a done deal, then my friend I must move on.

Oh, and don’t let it come out that you were ever in trouble on campus. You will not get the position that year. This policy actually affected me back in the day. October of my freshman year I partied a little too hard one night and I ended up being involved in a physical altercation with my RA. In March when I went to my interview he was on the selection committee… I had to spend another year proving myself before I could even be considered, and I still had to overcome some negative suppositions. It’s just the way the world works. Marcus Vick might have been twice the QB his brother is, but we’ll never know.

6. YOU don’t get to pick.

One of the most irritating things about the selection preference is those candidates who persistently tell me that my hall is where they need to be. Hush. When you’re trying to play in the big leagues, it’s more important to get your foot in the door than to start off exactly where you think you want to be. I appreciate zeal and enthusiasm, but I don’t need to see your 15 slide PowerPoint presentation detailing why only MY hall is where you belong. It’s the quickest way to end up nowhere.

One person who WAS selected lost his job for going behind his boss’ back during orientation. Having showed up as a selection for one hall, he continued to lobby I and at least one other Director to pick him. He said some unflattering things about his Director, and continued to pursue the matter. He didn’t make it past day 1.

It’s also important to note that the source of a recommendation matters greatly. If someone is generally regarded as an incompetent staff member, that might not be the person you want speaking up for you. Just saying.

Finally,

I could go on and on about the RA Draft but I won’t. Suffice it to say that every year there are several qualified individuals who don’t get picked up, and many more who are selected who bust like JaMarcus Russell. In many cases, it’s just the luck of the draw.


Legal Note: Opinions in this post are my own and not representative of the university I work for or the people I work under. All suppositions, presumptions, theories, hypotheses, etc. are my own. This blog is for entertainment purposes only, blah blah blah. There are purposely no names included in this post, and I have revealed nothing that violates either general expectations of privacy or the University confidentiality agreement, which, actually... I never signed anyway. All of that is to say...don't be trying to sue me.