Anyway, after going through my first official Annual Performance Review I have to say that...I am not cut out for any position where every year I have to discuss my level of performance with you for the year. Even when you raise the fact that my score on the APR is tied to a raise you will fail to get me excited. I've done the math. A 3% to me right now means that I will make in the area of an extra $17 per week. My personality refuses to allow me any excitement over the price of a regular movie and a large beverage, or a 3D movie and a small beverage.
Besides the raise, I realized today that I am not ever going to be good at certain positions. Anything where we have to sit down and discuss how I did over the past year, even though we both already know the answer...that's ridiculous to me. We really could have been in and out in under 10 minutes instead of the hour plus that it took. There was no need to explain to me why he chose to put what he did. I may not be "The Great Initiator" when it comes to projects and programs, but the long nights that I put in with the residents and the time I spent trying to provide guidance to people who would never accept it in a typical manner are not things that are going to be factored into my performance, which means that I'll always look mediocre at best.
9 to 5s have never been my thing. Not because I think that I'm too good for them but because I think that I just can't handle them. My supervisor asked about my future goals, specifically how I'll be using my law degree once I transition away from this environment. Honestly, I don't think that I will be using it at all. I went to law school because I thought it fit my skill set, but I can't even begin to imagine myself.
Hunter S. Thompson said this:
As things stand now, I am going to be a writer. I'm no sure that I'm going to be a good one or even a self-supporting one, but until the dark thumb of fate presses me to the dust and says, 'you are nothing,' I will be a writer.
That happens to be exactly how I feel. I may never make it as a writer, but I certainly am going to try. Something else may pay the bills, but this is the only thing I know how to do. I certainly don't think that I can sit through another performance review.
Legal Note: Opinions in this post are my own and not representative of the university I work for or the people I work under. All suppositions, presumptions, theories, hypotheses, etc. are my own. This blog is for entertainment purposes only, blah blah blah. There are purposely no names included in this post, and I have revealed nothing that violates either general expectations of privacy or the University confidentiality agreement, which, actually... I never signed anyway. All of that is to say...don't be trying to sue me.
1 comment:
I enjoy performance reviews, but that's largely because my supervisor and I have a great relationship and it serves as a formal review of the informal conversations we have over the year. Ours are quarterly by the way and come with no raise. :(
And I will buy whatever you publish.
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